DON’t TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: State Your Truth
YOUR SECOND AGREEMENT, with YOURSELF: Don’t ever take anything personally. Find your self-worth. Weigh it in your mind. See if it a real fit, or it is a false assumption.
Why YOU Should Not Take Anything Personally. Everything you are being told, ever since you were a little baby is becoming a reality, in your brain because “you are in the zone”. As we have personal importance, we tend to think it is all about “me”. Well psychology has proved it is just a reaction. It is not always about “me”, in fact. Nothing others say is about you. It is about themselves, in reality; the abuser “projects” onto you what they think in general. I have selected some good Links To the Topic:
Sometimes the only way to cope with abuse is to manipulate your abuser. … Never remind him of life out there and if you do, connect it somehow to his sense …. a vague reference, make an ominous allusion, delineate a possible turn of events.
Things abusers say and do vary widely but you can always trust your gut.. If you feel … abuse!” then you’ll dismiss the words and walk away or get out of danger sooner. ….. When theturning point was I don’t know but I sure see it now. The last words of NICOLE SIMPSON…
Abandons And/Or Threatens to Abandon You Physically
- Pushes you out of the car and leaves you in a strange place without your personal effects (i.e. cell phone, purse, wallet). *
- Takes you to his family’s home far away and then leaves you at his mother’s for two days while he visits his cousin.*
- “Maybe I just won’t come home tonight!”* I AM LEAVING
- “I’ll leave you on the street!” or “I’ll give you a few month to find someone else”
Physically Insults or Assaults You
- Spits on you.
- Blocks your exit.
- Drags you.
- Grabs you and makes you stay in one place.
- Hits, punches, or slaps you.
- Kicks you.
- Makes you hold pillows so he can “practice” fighting.
- Pinches you or squeezes you too tightly.
- Chokes you or puts you in a position where he could easily choke you.
You should share what you’ve heard or seen from your abuser in the comments below.
Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or EmotionallyAbusive … boyfriend? If you are among the one out of three women trapped in a hurtful relationship.
Jul 22, 2012 – Your abuser wants you to lose emotional control because when that … your abuser’s extreme emotional level only to see them step back, shut up, and smirk? … You’ve got to know that although you may feel out of control, your …
Getting out of an abusive relationship isn’t easy, but help is available. … tempting to remove them or shut them off, this will alert your abuser that you’re on to him.
Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic violence … avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? criticize you and put …. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm.
So whether your spouse is abusive in a physical or emotional way, they have no … Abuse victims often tend towards becoming reclusive, shutting people out …
Mar 19, 2012 – … or a controlling boss that’s the source of your frequent emotional abuse. … Turn Your Bike into a Safe-at-Night TRON-Cycle with EL Wire …
Jan 30, 2009 – You don’t have to accept emotional abuse inyour relationship. …. Unfortunately my friend has started to shutme out because his wife throws a …
Emotional abuse may start out innocuously, but grows as theabuser … The abuser may switch topics, accuse you, or use words that in effect say, “Shut Up.”.
Searches related to how to shut your abuser out
– abuse behind closed doors (my dad).
This is my favorite one:
Insist on Your Boundaries – Resist Abuse
Click HERE to Watch the Video
Personal boundaries are rules of conduct, red lines in the sand any infringement and breach of which you deem unacceptable behavior. You need to set your boundaries clearly, unequivocally, and unambiguously firstly to yourself: how to protect your dignity, privacy, freedom, and priorities. You then need to communicate your boundaries to your partner replete with a “price list”: the costs associated with ignoring or violating them. Finally, you need to be firm and enforce your boundaries: your credibility depends on a consistent and fair application of these rules of engagement.
- Refuse to accept abusive behavior. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, predilections, preferences, and priorities.
- Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and capricious behavior.
- If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let him taste some of his own medicine.
- Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable. Do not succumb to blackmail.
- If things get rough- disengage, involve law enforcement officers, friends and colleagues, or threaten him (legally).
- Do not keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser’s weapon.
- Never give him a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.
- Be guarded. Don’t be too forthcoming in a first or casual meeting. Gather intelligence.
- Be yourself. STATE YOUR TRUTH Don’t misrepresent your wishes, boundaries, preferences, priorities, and red lines.
- Do not behave inconsistently. Do not go back on your word. Be firm and resolute.
- Stay away from such quagmires. Scrutinize every offer and suggestion, no matter how innocuous.
- Prepare backup plans. Keep others informed of your whereabouts and appraised of your situation.
- Be vigilant and doubting. Do not be gullible and suggestible. Better safe than sorry.
- Often the abuser’s proxies are unaware of their role. Expose him. Inform them. Demonstrate to them how they are being abused, misused, and plain used by the abuser.
- Trap your abuser. Treat him as he treats you. Involve others. Bring it into the open. Nothing like sunshine to disinfest abuse.
(1b) Mirror His Behavior
Mirror the narcissist’s actions and repeat his words.
This article appears in the book, “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”
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SALOMON CHERTORIVSKI WOLDENBERG, Sec Economico, Mexico D.F. ; Muy Estimado Secretario–